Love Faith Doubt and Struggle
I love becuase I had very loving examples and teachers. My Mom especially and her Mom and Dad and my Dad’s family especially his Mom and all the extended bunch of folkes that showed in so many ways that it is all about Love in the final analysis. Sadly growing up I don’t remember Dad, I do remember my father becuase he was so grief stricken over the death of my older brother Christopher he withdrew from all of us for fear of being hurt again and so it was left to Mom to be both “dad” and Mum.
I have never been able to grasp any why of suffering and I am not referring to I guess you could call it “simple suffering” but rather the kind of suffering that displays the brutal injustice of life. I long ago rejected the notion that a divine being became so outraged that two figures had disobeyed his orders that he consigned all of humanity to suffer. A lot of people were shocked when Mother Teresa of Calcutta whom some have called very vile names for whatever their reasons had her private journal published. It was clear that often she did not believer a god existed, that prayer did anything, and that the Eucharist was just an empty gesture of a religion she often doubted. I was not shocked at all how could you see such poverty and suffering daily and not feel this way. I have many times envied people like Corrie Ten Boom for whom it seems faith is so naturally but for me it has often been a struggle. I return again and again and speaking here only of my own journey I believe, but why and how I cannot say in a concise way. If I were an atheist I still would be stuck with the perplexity of the why of suffering and evil. Anthropology or psychology or neurology is of little comfort to explain it so I again return to credo. I love you dear friend. Be gentle and kind to yourself and hopefully someday this will all be made clear but in the meantime let us all be kind and gentle to each other.
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