Domestic violence

There has been much discussion of domestic violence. It is a subject that has largely been taboo. It has many false assumptions about the participants as well as the causes. Neither legally or morally or socially has the reality of domestic violence been discussed seriously. Though the majority of its immediate victims are women men as well often suffer the same fate. In many cases children do as well. Married relationships, regardless of whether the marriage is straight or gay, are not the sole “theatre” for the abuse. Many people in “open relationships” or dating ones experience the violence as well.
I have seen in my life both as a priest and a person the results of abuse. I have assisted people in leaving violent relationships only to see them return. Sometimes tragically such returning can lead to death!
Alcoholism can and often does contribute to the abuse but it is by no means the sole reason for the abuse. Anger issues, insecurities, power and control issues, sexual dysfunctions and so forth can all lead to domestic violence,
No FB post can or should attempt to address the causes or even the therapies but for anyone who is suffering in a an abusive situation don’t hesitate to find the resources in your community to help you get out such a situation. If your religion is telling you to remain then for your safety’s sake leave that religion along with abuser as immediately as possible. Find the National Helplines and above all else do whatever is necessary to protect yourself and your children if chidden are in the home.
One last word about alcoholism and abusive behaviour: I have worked at many bars both as a bouncer and a bartender. I have seen people at the best and worst. I have seen people play the old Jeckel and Hyde card and blame on the booze. But let me tell you something that is almost always true and that is if you are a bloody bastard a flaming A Hole when you are drunk then you are one when you are sober! The only difference is when you are sober you generally can hide it! Alcohol is NEVER the CAUSE it is only the vehicle.
Finally boycott the NFL! Stop supporting millionaires and billionaires who make their money off of your indifference or apathy on this issue. Teach the oligarchs that money is NOT the bottom line!


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